Things I Wish I Knew Before I Became a Mom
Photo by William Fortunato : https://www.pexels.com
Ahhh…Parenting. It ain’t for the faint of heart.
I remember vividly deciding that I was ready to start a family. My husband and I tried to get pregnant all of one month and boom, I’m pregnant. Just like that.
I went through all the things you go through when you realize you’re late. The Oh My Gods, The No It Can’t Be’s, The Well Maybe’s… So, I got the home pregnancy test. I peed on the stick. And then I saw it. A big bright pink plus sign. I found out before my husband was even awake for the day. And it was right before I was heading to work. I woke my husband up and gave him the life-changing news. And he smiled, so happily, with tears in his eyes. I, on the other hand, hyperventilated.
See, I thought I was ready for this mythical idea of parenthood, because I thought I’d have a little more time to try for a baby. A few months at least. But no, one month was all it took. And that freaked me out royally. What had I done? What business did I have becoming a mother? Me? A Parent? The idea still baffles my mind. And now, I’m the mother of two school-aged children. WTF? It still doesn’t make any sense. I grew up never really liking kids, even when I was a kid. They were awful. Disruptive, messy, obnoxious, annoying, loud, I could go on. Why would I willingly invite that into my home? I must have gone a little crazy.
But the test didn’t lie. I was in fact pregnant. My OB/GYN confirmed it and away we go. I had to get on prenatal vitamins, change my diet, stop getting my hair permed (because of the chemicals) and stop using my favorite skincare products. All because of the intruder, er um, miracle, growing inside me.
I remember vividly the day I gave birth to my daughter. Because of course that isn’t something you ever forget. The morning my water broke, she was about 5 days early. And again, I thought I had more time. So what did I do? I hyperventilated. Again.
But if I had a time machine, I’d go back and tell my younger self these SIX things – the things I wish I knew before I became a mom.
Me a week before my 2nd one was born
1. Your Boobs are Open 24/7
Babies need to be fed around the clock. Like seriously, no one told me that. The nurse was all, “So you need to keep track of which side you feed the baby from so you don’t become lopsided. And you’ve got to wake her up every couple of hours to nurse her.” And I was like, “What? When do I sleep?” That was… tough to say the least. But eventually you get so used to it, you forget you’ve gone a little nutty from sleep deprivation.
You’ve just got to remember that this newborn stage won’t last forever. 6 months tops. And honestly when it’s over, you kinda miss it. Being the only one awake in the house. Just you and your little one It’s a magical and maddening experience all rolled into one It’s all good. Just new motherhood. I rhymed. Tee hee.
Me a week before my 2nd one was born
2. Kirstie Alley was right, the whole thing’s just a bunch of breathing!
I went into labor with a plan. Armed with my Lamaze class knowledge, I was going to birth my daughter the natural way. I wasn’t gonna take any drugs. But after about 12 hours of enduring drug-free labor, the nurse came in and told me my daughter wasn’t gonna come out for another 12 hours. What? I’d have to endure through the night and gets no sleep, because how can you sleep through excruciating contractions every few minutes? So it was then that I decided to get the shot in the back. I didn’t care about any potential complication that might occur. I just wanted the pain to stop.
So Lamaze classes? No need. At least not for me, or anyone not wanting to go through more than a day’s worth of unnecessary pain.
Photo by Marissa Grootes on Unsplash
3. Kids Take a Whole Lot of Planning
Kids need to be constantly watched until they’re at least in middle school. There is no leaving them alone for a hot minute while I go run an errand. No, you put yourself in basically kid jail for 13 years or so. If you want a break from your kid, and who doesn’t need some alone or couple time, then you’ve got to make arrangements. And if said arrangements don’t work out, then you’re shit outta luck. You’ve gotta suck it up, and take them with you wherever you go or just cancel your plans. And I’m not saying that I didn’t know beforehand that kids required supervision. Of course I knew that. But the reality of it all doesn’t really sink in until you’re in it.
4. Laundry and Dishes and Babies, Oh My!
They spit up all the time. On not just themselves, but you too. And diapers leak. I’ve learned the hard way that any sort of excrement a human can excrete, it will 100% wind up on you.
You wash so many onesies and burp cloths in the beginning, it’s mind boggling. Also, you have to constantly wash and sanitize bottles, and any sort of breast pump supplies. So many dishes and dirty clothes all coming from one infant. Who knew?
Photo by John Guccione www.advergroup.com: https://www.pexels.com
5. Where Did My Money Go?
Any time you fly, that’s an extra plane ticket. And since my family and I were on the west coast while our extended family was on the east coast, traveling became a big thing.
All those martial arts classes, piano classes, ice skating classes? It adds up. And they constantly want you to buy them stuff. They want books, toys, video games, candy. It seems Christmas comes every week for them. Not that I spoil them. Well, that’s debatable. But they don’t get every little thing their hearts desire. Or else, I’d be flat broke. No, what I’ve done to save my wallet and my sanity is to make a note of what they want and save it for later. For when they’ve been really well-behaved or they get a good grade or whatever. It works for me.
Photo by Anna Shvets: https://www.pexels.com
6. You Just Can’t Help Falling In Love with Those Sweet Little Faces
When I think of my children, my heart swells. All I want is for them to thrive. I want all their dreams to come true. I want them to know nothing but euphoric happiness in life. I want to take their tears, their pain, their fears and any sickness away. I have sacrificed and will continue to sacrifice everything for them. They are my loves, my heart, my world.
So, are they messy? Loud? Annoying sometimes? Yes, yes and yes. But do they give the best hugs? Do you revel in teaching them about the world around them? Does their laughter light up your day? Yes, yes and hell yes!
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