OMG! I Have a Teenager!

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I’m the Mother of a Freakin’ Teenager!

So my beloved daughter Solaris turned 13 this month and I’m beside myself here. What does this mean now? She can officially babysit her little brother. She can do more chores around the house. She can cook. She can watch PG-13 movies and TV-14 shows without me. But believe me, I’ve put together a list of movies and TV shows I’ve been dying to watch with her when she came of age. To name a few, Forrest Gump, Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead, Titanic, Bring it On and countless others.

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When I was 13

But there’s more to life than this. And it got me thinking back to when I was 13. I remember it vividly. 8th Grade was my last year of playing clarinet because I decided to quit band right before high school. Which, if I could go back in time, I would tell my little 13-year-old, know-it-all self to slow my roll and think harder on this. Once you quit, that’s it. You can’t get it back. And I never did. Part of me wishes I never gave it up.

And you want to know my reasoning? In high school band, you were required to join marching band in addition to concert band. And I didn’t want to wear what I thought were stupid marching band hats with the chin straps. That was it. The deciding factor. Girl! C’mon! At 13, I guess you just can’t think big picture because your world is so small.

I turned 13 in the mid-nineties. I was reading YM magazine, which is sadly no longer a thing. I begged my big sister to take me to see The Crow, which she did, but made me cover my eyes throughout about half of it. I watched Sister Act 2 on repeat. My So-Called Life and Reality Bites was life. Music-wise, I discovered Jon B. and 311. Star 94 was my favorite radio station. Ace of Base made a perfect album. Mariah Carey, Janet and Madonna were everywhere. I just took you back there, didn’t I?

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What Goes Around Most Definitely Comes Around

I truly kept up with all pop culture at the time and still do. My daughter, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to like any of the things I like or liked. Which is fitting I guess. I’ve heard the saying that the torture you put your parents through will come back around to you when you start having kids. I’m experiencing this now. Growing up, I hated Jazz music I think simply because my Dad loved it. He would play it all the time and I just didn’t get it. Miles Davis is his favorite. Why? Jazz is all over the place! So I think this is why now my daughter just doesn’t like any of the music or movies that I do.

Case in point, just this past weekend, I introduced her to Clueless for the first time. And she hated it. Didn’t find it funny at all. Which I can kind of get. All the pop culture references throughout just went over her head. She has no idea who Sammy Davis, Mel Gibson, Christian Slater, Marky Mark or Kenny G is, so all those jokes fell flat for her. I’m being punished and karma’s a biatch.

Solaris is more into what her dad is into though. She loves anime, which full disclosure, I also don’t get. Though I’m giving the new Netflix show One Piece a try. It’s pretty good. She also is super into fantasy, sci-fi and apocalyptic stories, which, you guessed it, I’m not.

So What Do I Do Now?

Where can we find common ground with our budding teenagers? What I’m trying to do is just listen to her, put myself back there to when I was 13 and my whole life was ahead of me. See things from her perspective. Help her to learn from my silly and immature mistakes by keeping communication open and honest. That’s all we can ever do as parents.

She stills waves to me from the bus. She still hugs me goodnight. She’s not embarrassed of me yet, well not all the time. And I’m holding onto to that feeling like my life depends on it. Even though she’s not necessarily into what I’m into, I’m watching her slowly turn into me right before my eyes. And if my mind wasn’t blown enough!

Happy parenting!